Tato Pancakes

So I got some scallions from my CSA and I was all "wtf do I do with these?" I pondered this for a time, before thinking, "I've never made potato pancakes before. Is this doable?" (Yes. It is.)

I washed 3 small-to-medium potatoes, then shredded them on the biggest-hole side of my box grater. Then I dried them by squeezing them through a dish-towel over the kitchen sink. Then I changed into a shirt that was not covered in potato juice.

I chopped up 2 of the scallions into super-teensy-tiny pieces, mixed them with the potatoes, and squished it all together with the white of 1 egg, a dash of salt, and a couple good grinds from the pepper mill.

I heated up vegetable oil in a skillet (a couple times around the pan? ish?) and slopped piles of potato-scallion-goo into it. I started with the pan at high heat, but I burned the bottom of my first two attempts kind of badly. Went better with the third one on medium heat. They're pretty lumpy and might only very charitably be called "pancakes" rather than "panblobs", but I ate them anyway. Voila:

To (mis)quote Janis:

"It's summertime, and the cooking is easy."

If you are a teacher, what summer means is that it's damn well time to stop buying freezer meals and pre-made soup and start eating Real Food again. If you are in fact not a teacher, summer means you get to shake your head and cluck disapprovingly at us weaklings who crapped out on nutrition in favor of effort- (and, largely, flavor-) free cuisine.

Now, it IS summer, and I'm coming off of a long stretch of being a lazy bum, so I decided to start easy. And what could be easier than a sandwich? (Answer: cereal. But I made a sandwich anyway.)

The summer sandwich du jour is pretty straightforward.
1. Bread.
2. Layer of small, thin-sliced radishes.
3. Layer of cheese.
4. Fresh-cut chives.
5. Bread again.

I'd put a picture, but it was really good and I ate it all before I thought about it. =/ Also, the only thing I'd change is using a less crumbly cheese (I made it with Port de Salue) - my sandwich kept trying to disintegrate while I ate it. Also, probably more chives. I like chives.

Bread

I've always wanted to be a better baker, and, maybe a month ago, I decided to try my hand and baking bread. I was a bread baking virgin, but I was told it would be gentle. The following technique is not mine, all I know is that it worked for me, and if I can do that almost anyone can!

Ingredients:
about 3 cups of water
1/4 cup of sweetener
2 packages of yeast
about 7 cups of flour
1/3+ cup of oil
2 teaspoons of salt

Put 3 cups of water in a bowl with two packets of yeast and a quarter cup of sweetener, I used brown sugar because I was making whole wheat bread and I imagined that brown sugar was a better sweetener, I have no idea if it ACTUALLY makes a difference or not though. I let the yeast activate for about a half an hour, until I could see little bubbles forming on the surface.
The I added flour a cup at a time, stirring each cup in until it's fully incorporated before adding more, I used whole wheat flour, but someone told me that when making whole wheat bread it helps the gluten formation if you have a little bit of white flour in the mix as well, so I ended up with 3.75 cups of whole wheat flour and 0.25 cups of white flour. Add 4 cups of flour this way until it's like thick mud. Then beat it 100 times with your wooden spoon. Set it in a reasonably warm place with a damp dish towel over the bowl for 45 minutes for the first rise.

The I added 2 teaspoons of salt and 1/3 cup of canola oil . Fold these things in until they're incorporated. (This is where you in theory would add textural additives, I didn't). Then start folding in more flour, 1/2 cup at a time, fully incorporating each 1/2 cup before adding the next. You'll add another 3 cups of flour this way, and you want to keep going until the dough is thick enough that it stands away from the bowl's sides. Then you can turn it out on a floured board or counter and knead it. The person who gave me this recipe said to knead until it feels right, or about 5-10 minutes. I went for 10 minutes and that seemed to work. Keep adding flour under the dough on the board so it doesn't stick.

Stick it back in the big bowl it was in and pour a bit of oil over it. Spin the dough over and around in the bowl so both the bowl and the dough are oiled. Cover it again with your damp kitchen towel, and set it back in a warmish place. After an hour, punch the dough down in ten or so places and set the timer for another hour.
After the 2nd hour turn the dough out of the bowl back onto your floured board and sort of fold the outsides up and onto the middle, like you were going to knead it, but without the pushing. Flip the ball over and let it sit for a few minutes while you oil the bread pans. Alternatively you can just put some cornmeal down on a baking sheet and make a peasant loaf, since this recipe makes 2 loaves, I did one of each. Go back to your lump of dough and cut it in half. Knead each loaf five or six times, and form it into a loaf shape by squishing it. You don't want to tear it if you can help it because that breaks all that gluten you've just built up by kneading and rising.

Set your loaves in/on their pan(s) and cover them again with that damp kitchen towel. Let them rise again for 20 minutes while the oven preheats to 350F. After this last rise, you're supposed to slit the dough two or three times, I totally forgot to do this, but nothing was ruined. Stick them in the oven, and set your timer for 50 minutes. When it goes off, you have bread! Take it out of the oven and enjoy.

Conclusion: This recipe takes about 5 hours, but it's not super labor intensive, good for a lazy Sunday, which is exactly what I'm doing today! If it allows me to make delicious bread, then it can't be that hard!

Backlog: Chinese chicken cutlets and Tomato couscous

Materials:

• 3 tbs fresh lemon juice
• 1 tbs soy sauce
• .75 tsp sugar
• .75 tsp sesame oil
• 4 chicken breasts

Methods:

1. Combine all reagent with the exception of the chicken in a small bowl.
   
2. Place the chicken in a platter and cover with the reaction mix from step one. Turn to coat. Incubate at room temperature for 10 minutes, flipping every 2.5 - 3 minutes.
   
3. Cook on low for about 7 minutes, flip, go on the other side for 7 more. Make sure they're cooked through.
   

Couscous materials:

• 1 tbs butter
• .5 canned crushed tomatoes
• .25 tsp ground cloves
• .75 cups couscous

Methods:

1. Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Stir in tomatoes and cloves. Cook, stirring occasionally until most of the liquid cooks away.
   
2. Add .75 cups water and .5 tsp salt. Bring to a boil. Stir in the couscous, cover and remove from heat. Let stand 5 minutes.
   
3. Fluff with a fork and serve!

Discussion: The couscous could have been a little more moist. Maybe i over reduced the tomatoes.

Conclusion: The meal overall could have used a vegetable.

Backlog: cheese stuffed manicotti

Back from my long recruiting-induced hiatus! Here's some stuff I've made in the mean time that i was too lazy to blog about.

I cheated a little on this one because i didn't make the sauce... but we won't talk about that.

Materials:

• 1 bottle of premade tomato sauce (i know CHEATING)
  
• 1.5 cups ricotta
• 1.25 cups shredded mozzarella
• .75 cup grated Parmesan
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• .25 cups chopped flat leaf parsley
• 12 manicotti shells

Methods:

1. Preheat the oven to 350'F. Spray a 9x13'' baking dish with nonstick spray.
   
2. Bring a pot of water to a boil. Add manicotti shells and cook until soft, but not squishy. They must maintain structural integrity.Run under cold water to prevent manicotti dimerization. Set aside.
   
3. Mix the aforementioned cheeses into a homogeneous mixture. Fill the shells from step 2 with the cheese cocktail from step 3.
   
4. Place the manicotti in the baking dish, and cover with the sauce. Cover that with the parsley. Bake 30-40 minutes, until browned and bubbling.
   

Results: The product is intensely edible. Yield was more than sufficient.

Discussion: I would repeat this protocol again. Variations would include making home made sauce, and adding the parsley to the cheese mixture instead of on top.

Conclusion: You should cook this meal as well.

Seth and Crystal's Ethnically Schizophrenic Meal

Having some free time tonight, we decided to make two things. Because, like a centaur in an Old Spice commercial, we're two things. We made minestrone in honor of Crystal's Italian homeland, and turkey burgers with an asian flair, in honor of...the hardest continent to maintain control of in a game of Risk.

1) Minestrone

Ingredients:
3 cups chicken broth
2 cups shredded cabbage
2 chopped onions
1 sliced carrot
2 sliced celery stalks
1 turnip, peeled and chopped
1 cup canned whole tomatoes
1 potato, peeled and chopped
2 teaspoons italian herb seasoning
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 cup chopped green beans
1 medium zucchini, chopped
1 cup cooked spaghetti
1/2 cup canned red kidney beans
Parmesan cheese

Instructions: Get a big-ass pot. Within it, combine broth, cabbage, onions, carrot, celery, turnip, tomatoes, potato, Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper. Throw in three cups of water cause it's soup. Boil it for 20 minutes. Add green beans and zucchini, cook 15 more minutes covered. Add spaghetti and kidney beans, heat, put cheese on, consume.

Review, as posted by Seth's LARPer persona, Lamicus McVirginface:

"Huzzah. After a long day of battling ogres and somewhat more challenging different colored ogres, I need something to munch on while I leer at tavern wenches and neglect to bathe. According to the rules, this hearty soup might restore 1d4 of life points, depending on one's roll on table 7G, sub-paragraph 18x, section entitled "things to whine to your DM about". In all, I give it this soup a qualified "13" on my heavily modified d20 roll. Similar to my recent expedition to the Dungeon of Repeated Logical Fallacies Which I Will Write An Indignant Letter to the Publishers About, Because Seriously, an Elder Red Dragon in a 10' by 10' room, What The Hell?, every bite is a new adventure, because there's so much different stuff in there. The recipe creates enough to feed a score of elephants, or perhaps one averagely morbidly obese larper. Much like the bard I travel with, I question the role of the turnip in the adventuring party that is the soup. I think it's taking up treasure without providing any real benefit, and should therefore be hit with an immediate 12d6 lightning strike, no saving throw.

In conclusion, in deciding whether to expend a 3rd level spell slot to the "Create Minestrone" spell, while stronger options are available, such as "Mordekainen's Unfaithful Wife" and "Rubix's Diadem of Obfuscating Diaphonous Oryxes", it all depends on the terrain, and your DM, and whether your constitution needs a boost because you didn't reroll your stats enough times like the cheater you are.

This soup's stats, according the Food Manual:

1) Strength (of flavor): 11. Only slightly above average, could be boosted by +3 cheese or something.
2) Constitution (heartiness): 19. This is some dense, filling stuff, and the recipe makes a ton. Could be used to make a tarrasque feel too full to chase you.
3) Dexterity: Unknown. I'll let you know how quickly it moves over the next few days.
4) Wisdom (time consumingness): 10. Not too bad apart from all the chopping.
5) Intelligence (complexity): 7. Even the Barbarians unfettered by civilization or deodorant could manage it.
6) Charisma: 15. I find that I like it. If I can nail my charm roll, perhaps the ministrone will be my bride. That is, if I comb the sweettarts out of my beard."

2) Turkey Burgers with Hoisin Sauce

Ingredients:

1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce
4 1/2 tablespoons Hoisin Sauce
1 3/4 lbs ground turkey
2 teaspoons ginger
1 large garlic clove, minced
bread crumbs

Make sauce out of 2 tablespoons of hoisin sauce and all the soy sauce. Set it aside.
Mix the turkey with the rest of the hoisin, the ginger, garlic, and however much salt and pepper you want. Make 4 collosally huge burgers and roll them in bread crumbs. Cook them on the stove for a while until any parasites are non-lethal.



Review: I really like these. We used more garlic than is called for, like 3 cloves, cause we like garlic. Crystal also added more ginger, and just kept interjecting how much she liked ginger. I figured Casey would enjoy that.

Anyway, they're easy to make, and very tasty...kind of a sweet, tangy, mildly asiany sort of flavor. By which I don't mean that it tastes like there's Asian people in it. Not that I know what Asian people taste like, of course. OK, I'm gonna stop now before I dig myself in a deeper hole.

My score: A-

Cream of Mushroom soup

It looks like Aimee and I had a similar idea, namely that it's nice to be able to make your own soups/broths to cook with later. I use cream of mushroom soup A LOT in random casseroles and stuff so when a friend gave me a recipe (yes, I used a recipe, mostly) for what she said was "the best mushroom soup I've ever had...", I was excited.

Recipe:
1 Medium onion, diced
3 stalks of celery, diced
2 lbs of mushrooms, sliced
3 cloves of garlic
2 tsp olive oil
1/4 cup soy sauce
3 qt water
2 T mushroom base (or a cube of vegetable bouillon)
Salt to taste (used about a tablespoon)
Tabasco to taste (used about a tablespoon, could have used a little more)
Black pepper to taste (about a tablespoon again)
1 1/2 cup roux (see below)
2 cups milk
1 cup sour cream

In a 6 qt pot saute the onion, celery, mushrooms and garlic in the olive oil for 5-10 minutes. Add all the other ingredients, except the roux, milk and sour cream. Bring to a boil then reduce the heat and simmer for 45 minutes. Add the roux a little bit at a time and stir until blended. Simmer for another 5 minutes, the soup will begin to thicken. Add the milk and the sour cream and stir until blended. Simmer for another 5 minutes.

Roux: 1/2 butter and 1 1/2 cups flour. Melt the butter over a low heat, gradually stir in the flour using a whisk or a wooden spoon. Cook for 15 minutes on a low heat, stirring occasionally and briskly.

Verdict: This was delicious soup, I substituted 1/4 cup of wine for the soy sauce (hey, they're both fermented), it was good, but I probably would stick with the soy sauce next time. This recipe makes an ass ton of soup, which is good because I froze a bunch and will see how it works out in other recipes later on.